If I could ever have the chance of self-destructing, I would voluntarily do so, right at this very second, with no second thoughts. Maybe it’s because it’s summer—I’m broke, stuck at home for most of the time, have a sleeping pattern that I’d rather not tell you about, have been putting off till later things to do for my blog (waaaay overdue blogs and other writings I haven’t even started). Or maybe it’s because I’m entertaining temptations and weaknesses that aren’t doing me any good, in the first place. Or maybe it’s because I’m being so of the flesh instead of being of the spirit—SHAME ON ME.
If God could ever send his tremendous fist flying over from the heavens and punch someone straight to the core of the earth, I would so run outside, offer myself with arms wide open.
But God is good! Although after writing the first two paragraphs, I wanted to end this post because of ‘hating’ myself for the things that I do, God convicted my heart that I must end this post with a new spirit, as something that would serve as a guide as I carry on with my life.
What I feel God is telling me to do now is to stop judging people in my head, which is something I keep on doing! Especially with my family! My oh my! He tells me that I must never be self-righteous, and I must start now when I’m still frail on my relationship with God, before I get more reasons to be self-righteous. But God tells me that I must not never be self-righteous! Instead of judging, hating and keeping grudges against other people, God tells me to understand them and speak only on appropriate times, with the Holy Spirit, to help build up other people and tell them about the things that hurt me or the people around us.
Of course, as I build up the people around me, I shouldn’t simply just go out there doing God’s work; I must become excellent and efficient with what God tells me to do by starting excellent and efficient first with myself.
Now, I ask forgiveness from God for all the failures which I could have so easily turned around if only I exerted one more effort but I didn’t. I’m sorry, Father, that You have to keep on putting up with someone TOTALLY NOT WORTHY of Your Divine Mercy. Thank You for never running out of second chances! I really could attest that maybe I have hoarded all the second chances You have kept for the rest of the world for me. So instead of repeatedly saying that I love You, I would like to say I love You through my actions.
LET’S GO, ANNJILL, LET’S GO!!!!!!!